Olivia Pope taught me

a part of life and (as i am now learning) adulting is that there will be disappointments. a whole lot of them. apparently these things are inevitable and there is no ‘opt-out’ option (if there is, kindly direct yourself to my comments and share you secrets please and thank you). this past week and some change has brought about some unsavory disappointment my way. the kind that despite your better judgment, you let your guard down and when it finds its way to you, you can’t help but feel numb because deep down you knew it would come. i was up for a position that i really really really REALLY wanted and i felt really good about the interviews and the people i met with. it unfortunately didn’t work out and when i found out, i felt so numb. a part of me is so used to the rejection but this one i knew hurt a lot because of how blank i felt in the moments after.

so what now?  was the question that floated in my head after the cloud of numbness slowly faded away. to quote the great Shonda Rhimes (just finished season 6 finale and I feel very inspired and also very much in some feelings), you quit being a bitch baby and keep it pushing.

i can’t control the outcome but i sure as hell can control my actions and make sure this period of disappointment doesn’t cause me to give up all together. now is it hard as hell, YES. ya girl took a nap right after but when i was all good, i continued applying even harder and reaching out to old contacts. if i learned anything from Olivia Pope or Cyrus, it is that there is always a plan and no matter how hard life may knock you down, you lick your wounds if need be then pick yourself right back up and continue to be a badass with bouncy hair and quick quips because yes.

i say all this to say, i will be fine in no time and this period of my life will be one that i look back on with pride because it is prepared me for the next chapter which is soon to come.

p.s. Shonda Rhimes continues to have me in all my feelings and I will be forever grateful of each heart palpitations that i have suffered through while watching her programs.


better late than never 

so i was really trying to stay consistent with my posting every Monday but the Met Gala happened last week and that was promptly canceled and yesterday i spent being anxious (y’all there are somethings in the works and i’m so excited)

but alas, ya girl is here for another music minute (i was working on another post that just didn’t feel right). so summer is basically here and my shifting playlist reflects that. so today’s music minute has 3 songs that have constantly been on repeat and i can’t get enough of it. I don’ t know about y’all but one of my favorite things about music is being able to pick up on something new each time I listen and that is definitely the case with these songs.

First up is How I Feel by Moods. This is a whole vibe and i love how very 2002-ish it sounds. I love songs that take my back to a time and this song reminds me of the days i would sneak to watch BET (you know when they played music videos and you never knew what you would see and my parents just loved to pop up each time i even thought of watching BET) and they had the music videos where the guy would chase his love interest through a semi crowded street with his group of friends who could all sing and dance while professing his love to her even though he just met her. It’s the perfect song to drive around with someone special or just vibe out by yourself.

Moods – How I Feel (Sam Wills)

Second is Run Away by L.A.X. is an Afrobeats song and as far as i’m concerned, its not summer without a good Afrobeats song. You can’t help but bust out that ugly dancing face as the beat starts to hit. The beat is just hypnotic and a mandatory wine is very called for. L.A.X.’s voice is very commanding as he’s asking for his interest to love him. Been pressing repeat ever since i stumbled across this one. this song is a whole bop.

L.A.X. – Run Away

Last but not least is I Want You by The Avila Brothers. you ever hear a song so good you cry, this is it (although to be fair, good music is one of the few things i’ll actually cry over) anyway, I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF THIS SONG! ya girl loves a good sample and this song combines Marvin Gaye’s I Want You and Debarge’s Stay With Me. the second i heard the first line i knew i would love this song immediately. the production, the chilled out melody along with the smoothness of the vocals and the steady bass in the background. It’s so seductive and enticing and it makes you feel every part of the song and the vocals. my goodness,  YALL THIS IS A WHOLE VIBE. GET INTO IT AND BE BLESSED.

The Avila Brothers – I Want You

That’s it for now, quick shoutout to Spotify’s discover weekly for the constant gems.